RELATIONSHIP: Assumption Is A Killer, Wake Up From Your Dreams And Ask Those Questions Now

Assumption Is A Killer
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Assumption Is A Killer, Wake Up From Your Dream And Ask Those Question Now. Will you marry me?, I said a resounding yes. I have been expecting this proposal like forever. ‘What took him so long to finally propose’ I thought.
I have been friends with my prince for like two years now, his name is Dayo but I call him my prince charming in my heart since I am a princess.

“Princess I love you so much, you stole my heart away. I can’t imagine my life without you I want you to be my queen and the mother of my children. I hope it is not too late to ask you to spend the rest …….” Dayo was confessing his love to me just before my roommate woke me up from my dream.

“Wake up Princess, it is time to prepare for work” Beatrice said as she interrupted my dream again.
This is not the first time she will interrupt my dream, my roommate must be a dream killer. And to think she interrupted me when Dayo was about reciting his love poem and affirming his love to me made me angry to the bone.

The dream felt so real that I could still feel the goosebumps when I woke up. I was still thinking about the dream when Dayo called me early that morning to check me up as he usually does.

For weeks I remembered that dream and I can’t stop smiling, I don’t need any one to tell me that I am in love with Dayo and I am sure he loves me too. Though he have not said it plainly before, but his actions says it all.
He cares about me more than my roommates fiancé does, even my roommate gets jealous whenever she hears us calling and laughing on the phone sometimes. We study bible and pray together almost every week, and we know each other like the back of our hands.

Dayo had all the characters I want in a man, he is spirit filled, kind, generous, nice, caring, romantic and he is not the type of man with the African myopic mentality. He encourages me to be better and successful in my career, I couldn’t have asked for someone better. He was just perfect and ideal, at least so I thought.

My world almost came crashing down the day I saw his wedding invitation on one whatsapp group that we both belonged too. I didn’t pay so much attention to the invitation card at first because I never imagined that my prince charming will be getting married to someone else. It was later in the day that I was going through my whatsapp messages again that I saw congratulatory messages on the group and my own Dayo was saying ‘thank you’ to almost all the message.

“This can’t be true, I must be having one of those dreams where my roommate will come and interrupt me” I thought.

I picked my phone and dialed his number immediately to confirm what I saw, but the call didn’t go through because he was on another call. I tried calling him several times but he was still on another call.

‘Maybe he is calling his wife to be’ I thought . The thought of it rose a hurricane anger inside my heart, so I decided to check the invitation card very well to confirm what I am thinking.
I checked the girl’s name and searched for her on Facebook,
‘We even have 29 mutual friends’ I exclaimed. I checked through all her profile picture “she is not a match to my beauty” i said with so much pride.
After checking her profile pictures and assuring myself that my Dayo wouldn’t even think of leaving me for her, as if we were even in any relationship in the first place.

I didn’t know when I dropped my phone in shock at the sight of their pre-wedding photos that she posted few hours ago on her wall.
She even wrote about how she met him, and how he proposed to her. Reading the post made me even more angry and bitter, how come he never told me about her, how come he never told me he is getting married?. I thought we were best friends, I thought he was going to propose to me one day, I have even imagine how we will snap our pre-wedding pictures and all the wedding plans.

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I sat down on the floor in my room and cried my eyes out, thank God my roommate travelled to see her parent in preparation for her wedding that is coming up in two months time, so I had the room to myself to cry. Crying is an understatement , I was wailing like someone who just lost her dear husband that night. I remembered how my roommate always warned me about assumptions, she told me several times that I should be careful with how I relate with Dayo and to be sure of where the relationship was heading to. But I didn’t even answer her.

A simple question like “Where is this friendship heading to?” Would have saved me of this heartache.
“If a man wants you he will say it in plain words, you won’t need to start guessing before you know if he wants you or not” that was what Beatrice told me one night after she asked me if myself and Dayo have started dating and I said No. She looked at me like I was out of my mind or something, and now I can’t but look at myself and shake my head to my stupidity too.

I have built my whole life around Dayo, I even changed his name on my contact to my prince charming recently. I have rejected 2 proposal this year without even thinking about it twice, with the hope that my prince charming will propose soon.

When he was saying those Sweet words like ‘any man will be lucky to have you Princess, you are the definition of a virtuous woman, you are dear to my heart and so on” I should have asked him what he meant by those words, but I just simply thought that was his own way of professing his love to me.

How stupid I was?
I should be handed the award of the most stupid and gullible girl ever.
I didn’t pick his call that night, I wasn’t in the right mind and I didn’t want to sound miserable or desperate on the phone.
My roommate came back and I couldn’t hide my pain and regret from her for too long even though I tried to drown my pains by watching Korean movies. But the Korean movies wasn’t even helping the matter, they made me more emotional and they reminded me of how I have dreamt of Dayo and I.

I tried to avoid talking to Dayo on the phone and I tried not to confront him about our friendship and why he never even mentioned his fiancée to me. I simply congratulated him on whatsapp and tried to pretend that everything was fine . But moving on was more difficult than I thought, I became less active as the day went by and my roommate was forced to ask me what was wrong, and I couldn’t keep it to myself again too, the pain was killing me slowly, so I spilled the beans.

She felt my pain and consoled me but not without reminding me about how she warned me several times. She also adviced me not to confront him about it, because it will only make me look more stupid.

I tried to heed to her advice this time but I couldn’t, I needed to clear the air and at least free myself from the anger and bitterness that have made my heart their abode for a while now.

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But His response to my accusations shattered the remaining broken pieces of my heart that was left.
“I never knew you had such feelings for me, I only saw you as a a friend, mentor and a younger sister I never had” Dayo said.
Did he just say younger sister he never had,I felt like giving him a resounding slap but I restrained myself. After all it was all my fault, if i had asked questions and make clarification about our friendship before jumping into conclusions then I won’t be in this mess right now. Infact I think I am the one that needs a resounding slap that will reset me back to default setting.

He tried to apologise for leading me on, but his apologies fell on deaf ears. He tried to reach out to me after that day, but the last thing I wanted was self pity. I don’t know if he was being sincere or not, because I now question my sense of Judgement myself.

As Weeks went by, I consoled myself with the fact that I was still young and beautiful and my real Prince will come soon.
But several years have passes and I am still very much single and waiting for my prince charming to come, but I doubt if God will give me a second chance or maybe there is no prince charming anywhere.

Dayo is married with two kids now, and here I am still waiting on God at 32years old.
Now I know that assumption is really a killer, a very dangerous one at that…….

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